A trap that many of us fall into is living for the ego. Trying constantly to bolster it and live in a way that makes us feel better about ourselves. To transcend this need is to live on a higher plane. I want to discuss how to let go of your ego!
“A bad day for your ego is a great day for your soul.” – Jillian Michaels
But first, some context is needed. In this first part of a two-part series, I will go over what the ego is and where it commonly presents itself. In the next post, I will offer simple ways to let go and move beyond the bounds of the ego.
The ego, defined
A person’s ego is their sense of self-esteem. At the surface level, perhaps it’s not all that bad. However, it becomes a problem when people form an unhealthy attachment to their ego and aim to protect and enhance it. Often, this is done with an at-all-costs mentality and at the expense of more important things.
Eckhart Tolle, a renowned author on enlightenment and spirituality, has some intriguing thoughts about the ego. He argues that most humans identify with their ego and, because of that, it’s their primary source of pain.
Living in a mode that’s set up to protect your pride makes you aware of and sensitive to threats that could harm your ego. Instead of living freely, you become trapped by the bounds of your ego, choosing and acting on paths made to appease it.
I’m guilty of this myself. Just because I’m writing this post doesn’t mean I’m claiming to be an ego-free master. However, gaining this awareness is a waypoint on a person’s growth journey.
Where the ego surfaces
The ego is predictably found in a few key places. Let’s look at those areas and the ways they may be affected.
Relationships
A point of Eckhart Tolle’s that has stuck with me is specifically regarding relationships. He says that many relationships are between people’s egos and the facades they put up. In this way, they’re only surface level.
The deeper relationships, those full of love, are that way because they’re connections between people’s souls. When you move beyond the ego, your relationships benefit greatly.
Ego in relationships typically manifests as trying to show that you’re better, smarter, or more capable than another person. Needing to defend and prove yourself to enhance others’ opinions.
Career and materialism
Letting your ego creep into your career is common and hard to escape at times. Likewise, you might find yourself making choices based on money, status, and fame.
Wanting more and pursuing goals with tenacity is wonderful. But it’s worth questioning the underlying reason for why you want want you’re working towards.
Don’t get me wrong… it’s nice to have a shiny car, a house that’s spacious, and enough money to live how you desire. But there is distinct difference between pursuing fulfilling goals that arise from your soul versus greedy goals from your ego.
Greed can cause a mix-up between your egoic desires and your true purpose. Far too many people chase wealth and status, gratifying their egos but crushing their souls.
Admittedly, this is a harsh picture to paint. By no means is it reflective of everybody. But the ego’s consequences can become a tough reality.
How you approach life
Your ego may also make itself known in the general way in which you carry yourself and go about life.
Being overly competitive, holding too strongly to your opinions, or incessantly doing things to paint yourself in a better light. All of these things have their merits, but the line between those and slipping into the downfalls of egoic behavior is quite thin.
Living for your ego means that you’re constantly on guard to find and neutralize anything that could be perceived as a threat to your ego.
The reason for ego
All of this comes down to a question of why. Why are you doing what you do? If it’s to protect yourself from damage to your self-image, then you may want to re-evaluate.
Self-image is important. It pays to view yourself positively. But if the image you’re building and protecting is idealistic and meant to impress others, your ego is overriding your genuine self.
In my next post, I will go over how to let go of your ego simply and effectively.
Thank you so much for reading! Please share with others who may benefit! 🙂
