Presence is a topic I talk about more than anything else. In this post, I want to provide an actionable guide on how to be present. You’ll be able to use this guide to increase your level of mindfulness and be in the moment!
A friend of mine recently texted me and asked, “What are your tips for being more present?” I both loved and hated this question. I loved it because it’s such a powerful question that can lead to incredible results. But I hated it because I knew they didn’t want me to write a huge response back.
In my response to my friend, I was concise. Here, however, I shall share the longer version! What follows is a guide for how to be present. It’s applicable for presence in anything: in the moment, in a relationship, with yourself, and in life generally.
The value of being present
I have talked previously about the value of being present, so I will only quickly rehash that here.
Before getting into the how, I want to start with the why. Why be more present? What do you stand to gain?
Two things stand out as answers. First, presence allows you to find a peaceful state of internal calm. Second, presence enhances your experience of life and all it has to offer.
By being present and tuning into sensations of the moment rather than thoughts, you will find freedom from your thoughts and the stress or anxiety they may cause. Moreover, you will be able to better savor and take in all the wonderful sensations that are available in any moment.
What is presence?
Presence means tuning into the sensations and feelings of any given moment. Presence is perception rather than thought.
Getting lost in your thoughts is a common thing. When those thoughts are creative and free, it’s a good use of your brain. However, when the thoughts are oriented on the future or the past in a troublesome way, it’s not exactly pleasant. Presence offers a way to escape that… a way to find tranquility and enjoyment right where you are.
An intention of being present in your life doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to think about the future or past. It’s important to learn from things that have happened and to plan for the future. It’s nice to think about fun memories or get excited about what’s to come.
Being present as your default state, though, enables you to both be more internally peaceful and find more enjoyment in what you do. Done well, you’ll find that you can quickly shift between thinking and perceiving.
As you get better at presence, you’ll find that you live closer to the moment and feel more connected with it. Getting to this point allows you to break free of the connection you may feel with your thoughts.
How to be present
1. Understand that it’s a skill
Presence is not something you’re going to become a master at overnight. Don’t let this discourage you and prevent you from staying consistent! With practice, you will get better. You’ll find it easier to stay in the moment and to shift back to mindfulness when your attention slips.
Speaking of attention slipping, it will slip. It happens to everyone. What separates a master of mindfulness from a beginner is not that their mind doesn’t wander. It’s that they’re able to bring their attention back to the center each time it does slip.
2. Make it a habit
Practice will help train your skill of presence, but making it a habit allows you to reap the benefits. Being present is not about meditating for ten minutes in the morning and then never giving another thought to mindfulness for the rest of the day. Presence is, however, about weaving mindfulness into the fabric of your day.
Speaking of weaving some calm into your day, check out this post for strategies on doing so.
3. Consciously utilize it
You’ll only get practice and be able to make presence a habit by finding areas in your life for implementation. Where can you use presence in the day-to-day? Some ideas:
- Pleasant times: savor the taste of each bite of food, appreciate the sound of the wind and the birds chirping, hone in on the joyous feeling as you laugh at a particularly good joke
- Unpleasant times: tune in to your breath to find calm amid distress, make peace with the burn as you push forth through a hard workout
- Neutral times: be distinctly aware of feelings of boredom, be mindful of the minor sensations as you complete menial tasks
Presence isn’t just reserved for the good things. It can also help you find acceptance and calm in hard times and add some excitement to what may seem boring. By infusing all parts of your day with more presence, you find more and more ways to use it.
4. Use your awareness
As I said, your attention will slip. But you can always make your intention be presence. If you do this and intend to make presence the backbone of your experience, you’ll form a set point.
From there, you’ll need to be aware of your mind and where it goes. Once you start noticing your mental tendencies, you’ll be able to catch yourself each time thoughts spiral.
5. Re-center your mind
Finally, when it does slip, remember your intention and bring yourself back to the present. No need to judge yourself or get upset that your mind wandered. Just bring it back, and all is well.
Put these five keys together and you’ll find that presence is both accessible and sustainable. You’ll probably also find a heck of a lot more peace.
For more, read Mindful.org’s notice, shift, rewire framework.
Being present isn’t about focus
I want to make a clear delineation: presence isn’t about focusing on the moment at hand; it’s simply about letting yourself be and connect with the moment.
You may ask, “But isn’t presence about focusing on the present moment?”
Focus is an active process. It’s not that focus is bad, it’s just that phrasing it that way may cause you to try too hard to be present. You can connect with the moment in a way where you identify with it rather than trying to find it.
For the sake of metaphor, imagine a swimming pool that represents presence. You can get a magnifying glass, some water analysis tools, and a thermometer to really examine this “present moment.” Alternatively, you could just dive in.
If you dive in, you become united with the moment. Instead of trying to force presence, you become it. It’s about relaxing into a connection with the moment rather than trying to force that connection.
Once there, you can direct your attention toward particular aspects. The broad perspective that you find by surrendering to the moment enables you to experience the specific aspects within and live consciously.
Thank you so much for reading! Please share with others who may benefit! 🙂
